Feeling Blue Today

Well,

I hope you all are doing well. I’m having a bit of a blue day  as I have mixed feelings about many things. I know this is normal for a person is my position. I’m not saying that my position is rare and that nobody has been through the same, but I really got hurt bad and the feelings are just to overpowering.

Why is it when people have something or someone, they don’t treasure it? I had everything a person could ask for, a beautiful wife, an intelligent son and a family to be proud of. Lets just say that I lost everything, not having my wife to love and support me or my son to adore me is very hard to deal with. Many fathers/mothers that have been in my situation would be able to relate to what I’m going through, it’s not something I would wish on anyone, even my worst enemy.

I tell myself on a daily basis to be strong and patient as God has a plan for everyone and that he loves every single one of his creations. There are just to many objects or things that remind me of my X-wife and son. It hurts even more when I see a happy couple, I have a vague memory of how it was once, but that is just a memory that will never happen again. I say this as I know for a fact that my soul mate is my X-wife and that she has moved on with somebody else and is very happy. I know many of you will say ‘there are many fish in the sea’, but there is no fish like the one I had. I was a fool and stubborn as usual, but that is the Serradinho trend.

I will make it on my own as I have too, I don’t really have a choice. I have to work to make sure that I can cater for my sons needs and that he will have the things he wants in life. I know that he is strong as this ordeal has been hard on him, but his love and patience is just to strong to crumble. My mom says I must have faith and be strong, not as easy as it sounds. My mom has helped me when I thought there was no way out, she has been the pillar in my life that has kept me standing when all I wanted to do is fall and cry.

Many people think that men don’t cry, but they do. Men are also emotional and weaK at times and it takes that special someone to help us through the difficult times. I pray to God that my son will not become anything like me, won’t follow in my footsteps, will have a family that loves and adores him. This is my last and only wish, I want or need nothing else.

Sorry for spilling out here, but my head is going to crack if I don’t.

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